You Can Go Home Again—50 Years Later, Keystone’s Class of ’69 is Thriving and Doing Fine!

How many of you attended your 10th high school reunion? How about your 25th? How about your 50th? Well, I haven’t been able to celebrate my 50th yet, but thanks to a very generous group from Keystone School’s Class of ’69, three of us (2 of us Class of ’68 and 1 from ’74) were offered guest passes into the wonderful world of some of the school’s most accomplished and most gracious graduates I can remember. And, I remember over 300 of you.

Keystone was founded in San Antonio in 1948 by two gentlemen, William B. Greet and John H. Eargle, Jr., originally as a program for students in grades 1–8, to strengthen and improve skills of those behind in learning—reading and comprehension, the school’s earliest academic focus. More on the beginnings from another of my projects coming in the near future, but suffice it to say that adding on a high school transformed Keystone into a competitive college-prep training ground.

Below: Class of '69 reunion organizers, Velma Nanka-Bruce, Carmen Tafolla, and Ciro Ramirez

Located in San Antonio, Texas, Keystone is a private K-12 nondenominational college-prep school and, in year 71 of its existence, continues to be well respected across the country. Many of San Antonio’s most well-adjusted scholars have flown through the hallways and down the iron steps into careers that have made them very happy. Make no mistake: it’s not a nerd school nor a site in the middle of the Monte Vista Historical District where brainiacs abound. Not one of the students even slightly resembled the characters portrayed in “The Big Bang Theory.”

I never knew that other folks in town might consider us a bit nerdy. We didn’t even know the word “nerd” back then. After all, when virtually everyone belongs to the Future Scientists of America, it is easy to assume that the place was filled with rocket scientists. Yes, we did have a few of those—actual rocket scientists, I mean—photographs on a delightful Class of ’69 slide show emphasized that very fact, but most of us weren’t. We were just interested in a lot of different things, all at the same time. Although one class member was teased as having an “epic fail” with his rocket, he turned out just fine in life, with a flourishing medical practice.

Right: Ciro Ramirez and George Farinacci.

Speaking of doctors, the private party room at the restaurant where the 50th anniversary took place was filled with those holding academic and medical doctorates (including dentistry), career educators, beloved parents who worked hard inside the home, nationally respected authors, ministers, church musicians, blues harmonica players, Nashville music insider for a major recording label, civil and nuclear engineers, patent holders, those who served in the military and those who protested injustice, those who wore POW/MIA bracelets and those who served in the Peace Corps. [Left: Judy Fitzgerald Tolbert and Carmen Tafolla.]

You know what was most impressive? It was the “other things” they had done outside their primary career work that blew me away. Starting and funding a nonprofit music organization to make sure students have access to music; spending time coordinating music for churches and special events, one who was able to play one of the most challenging complex church organs at age 16 and still plays on Sundays today (that’s the spare-time gig) after having been a world leader in AIDS research from the beginning. The hours that these grads have spent encouraging other young people to reach their dreams, mentoring and allowing others to shadow them to try on careers is spectacular.

Sharing their knowledge humbly and willingly—now THAT is the Keystone I remember. If you didn’t know them from high school, or know what they’d done in their careers so far, you couldn’t pick them out of any crowd. That was because they were relaxed and happy, many who were accompanied by their spouses who enjoyed watching “old home week,” and it seemed like just another lunch hour with family friends. In fact, it was just that, except for some in the room, it had been 50 years since they’d all seen each other. And, as everyone hugged each other “hello,” it was so easy to see that everyone in the room felt about 18 again. It was like time had been suspended for 50 years. [Left: Danny Downum and M/M George Farinacci.]

Most were world travelers at some points in their lives, having never said “no” to adventure, whether for work or for pleasure. The list of achievements overflowed today—in the Class of ’69 party room. And everyone was exactly equal with everyone else because they are all family. It’s just another Walton Family reunion, minus John-boy. That’s impressive. Respect, love, good-natured laughter, and warm memories served to undergird the appreciation for all who came together from across the country or state to share important time together.

[Right: Mary Newell Pape, Patrice Hensley, Carmen Tafolla.]

One of the most important things about Keystone graduates is that all are considered equal successes just because they survived Keystone. Oh, it wasn’t like Marine basic training school rigid, but the number of books you carried home with you each night for homework could be considered “hazardous” to balance.

Funny reminiscences were shared from “back in the day,” as when Russian-born language teacher Sergei M. Apostolov attended a basketball game and said (in full accent), “I am a great athletic supporter,” which he was. The photo of “Roscoe” brought a laugh—he was the human skeleton head on history teacher Maj. Philip E. Babel’s desk, under which all students were to place their homework and/or tests when completed. The label on Roscoe’s head read: “I flunked history.” We tried not to.

Then there was when English teacher Jim Klaeveman said, “Class dismissed” that brought gales of laughter. Best photo of the set was a science teacher I’ll just refer to as Mr. O, who had drawn the ire of some female students early on in his teaching there because of some rather antiquated views of women’s abilities. He made the mistake of stating those views in his outside voice, and the women in the class got up and walked out. Not a frequent happenstance but one that was not met with opposition. At Keystone, you were encouraged to express your viewpoint as long as you did it respectfully. And how did Mr. O turn out, you ask? It was said that his outlook on life changed immeasurably after teaching Keystone’s students, and of course after he’d had his first date ever with a nice young lady (not a Keystonian). [Below: Wine bottled by "the most interesting man in our world."]

Another beautiful aspect of the school was that many of the teachers were still young enough in their credentialing to only be 5-10 years older than we were, unless they were 40 years older than we were. In fact, because Keystone was a nonprofit where it was month-to-month whether payroll could be met sometimes (I worked in the school office and the founders shared things with me because I asked questions of them), teacher salaries were not at all competitive in San Antonio.

Some of our teachers actually taught night classes at nearby San Antonio College, or St. Mary’s University, Incarnate Word, or Trinity to afford to be able to teach us. In fact, we often used the exact same college textbooks so they conveniently only needed one set of lesson plans.

As part of today’s events, special guests included Keystone’s headmaster, Dr. Billy Handmaker, and alumni coordinator, Hannah Hyde. Dr. Handmaker is exactly the headmaster to lead the school into the future as he described some of the school’s upcoming refurbishing of the present buildings (in full accordance with historical codes), and he referenced with such great ease and knowledge the various rooms, knowing where Coach Eargle’s office was, where Prof. and Mr. Greet lived, where the various locations of the Cobras student lounge was, and where the four-square courts were once. You’d have thought he’s been there for 20 years. That’s the blessing of having a headmaster who “gets” what Keystone was all about and is to become as it takes its natural course of changing to meet the demands of present-day students.

Best news also was hearing about the progress of scholarship funds available for lower-school students toward tuition, books and fee expenses. This will assure the continuation of the tremendous diversity in the student body. In reflecting today with a Class of ’69 member, we remembered that some students arrived at school being driven in late model luxury cars, others were in ten-year-old station wagons, and other students took the city bus to get to the same place.

Once inside the buildings, you couldn’t tell one student apart from another, because everyone at Keystone was family on equal footing, distinguished only by a point or two on a test score, or a place atop the Top 10 academic leader board in South Hall.. Reunion organizers presented Dr. Handmaker with a gift toward the scholarship fund from the Class of ’69. Alumni activities have been encouraged and supported substantially by the school, and it was noted that any Keystonian who wants to see the place again is most welcome to come by for a personal tour.

Following the slide show, alumni participated in a rousing game of “Who is it here who has…” questions, and for every question that was answered correctly, alums were to come up and get a brick (four different colors and sizes and would you believe that in the free choices, every alum picked out all four different types of bricks? Again, not a nerd in the batch!).

By the time the questions were done, tables were filled with bricks in front of the alumni, all rather evenly matched. Who won? That’s the beauty of the game. The winner was: The entire Class of 1969, because each one of them had encouraged, nurtured, contributed, served, given back, and furthered knowledge and inspired others to pursue their dreams both by their examples and by their actions.

As this 50 year reunion took place, it was noted by name that only one member of the class had passed away in that time. Reunion organizing committee Carmen Tafolla, Ciro Ramirez, and Velma Nanka-Bruce did an absolutely amazing job of locating as many graduates as they did. Response via the slide show (photos and life updates) was grand, and promises were made to meet again next year, because it was too much fun to wait five more years until the 55th.

For most, Keystone is a place that lives on in the hearts of those who experienced it. Time will never take away the memories of some of the very best years of their young lives, for they all went through those times—together. That’s just what family does.

It was a joy to be present today, among the upperclassmen who were my early role models, my heroes, and who showed me how to treat those students coming up in classes behind me—with love and patience. You all haven’t changed a bit, and you all will be “forever 18” to me.

Respectfully submitted,

DLW

Lee Meriwether: For a Beautiful Leading Lady on Her Birthday

The titles that have been bestowed upon the lovely and talented Lee Ann Meriwether in her lifetime are numerous. As she celebrates her birthday today, I have been in reflection for many days as to how and why I will always remember this date as “hers” on my calendar. Here she is pictured receiving her crown from Miss America 1954, Evelyn Ay, in what was reportedly the very first live broadcast of the crowning ceremony on TV. The first title I ever learned she’d won was Miss America 1955.

And, I remember exactly where I was when I learned this fact. I was 9 years old and transfixed in front of the television watching an episode of “The Time Tunnel.” This show featured a scientific team, led by Robert Colbert as Dr. Doug Phillips, and teen idol/actor James Darren as Dr. Anthony Newman. They had a machine that involved setting all the target coordinates for time travel and the plot involved a question, the journey, the action, the mystery of whether or not they could return back to present day, and the heroics to get home. It was an early Irwin Allen production of merit.

When I informed my mother that Dr. McGregor was actually Lee Meriwether, as I was an avid credit watcher at a young age, my mother one-upped me and said, “Actually honey, that’s Lee Ann Meriwether, and she’s our Miss America from 1955.” I said, “She’s very intelligent, playing a doctor in a laboratory!” Mom’s reply was, Yes, dear, and she’s a real lady, you can just see it in how she carries herself.” I nodded and watched for that, too. That wouldn’t be the last time we spoke of her.

In the opening of ABC’s “The Time Tunnel,” you saw a colorful montage and ultimate title logo (in a perfect font) with theme music that set the stage for Irwin Allen’s journey. It was amusing to learn that a (very) young Johnny Williams, had written that, and that he’d also go on to write the theme from “Lost in Space.” His career, best known today as John Williams, continues to span six decades of unforgettable scores.

Fast forward a little bit in 1966. During an episode of “Batman” I recall exclaiming joyfully, “She’s Catwoman!! Lee Meriwether is Catwoman!!! And Batman is in trouble now!” Yes, I was only 10 years old, but I knew to look for my favorite actors across episode TV even then. As Batman progressed in its full TV and movie journey, I’d also see Julie Newman and Eartha Kitt portraying Catwoman. All were good, at being bad girls, but my favorite was already Lee. Another note to self: Bad girls certainly were glamorous. I'd remember that, too.

I gave some serious thought to being a crime fighter, having been influenced earlier by Dame Diana Rigg as the inimitable Mrs. Peel on “The Avengers.” It was going to be hard to be naughty like Catwoman when all my instincts were to be a crimefighter like Mrs. Peel.

You'll remember there are three actresses who portrayed Catwoman, Julie Newman, Lee Meriwether, and Eartha Kitt (pictured). After enjoying her portrayal of such a diverse character change, I realized that I, too, could shift gears anytime I wanted to, and I found myself less interested in science and more interested in the behind-the-scenes of TV productions. My credit watching grew even more intense as I was determined to master the minutia of who did what on what shows, studying how certain talents crossed over between shows, loyal to one network or another, and I almost thought that would be my future career, again behind the scenes. Options...there were always career options; that was my takeway from seeing Dr. Ann McGregor to Catwoman from the same lovely actress.

During high school and college, TV time was tighter but I always made time for “Barnaby Jones,” where I found her again as “Betty Jones,” co-star to Buddy Ebsen and a very capable detective’s assistant who played perfectly with Ebsen’s “Barnaby” character. Betty was behind the scenes of some of Barnaby's breakthroughs and thanks to some brilliant acting, I learned that you could say more with looks and reactions than with two pages of dialogue filling up a script. I filed that fact in the back of my mind for future reference.

I was lucky enough to have her there for eight seasons. Through her role, the role of assistant to a forensic detective with his own in-office laboratory looked just fine as a career choice from this side of the screen! She always looked so capable, and it felt like it went far beyond acting talent. It would be clear later that her projection of confidence invoked confidence in me. Message sent and received. I'd use this fact a few decades later when having to address a room full of scientists on the topic of quantum mechanics. My pre-talk preparation included reminding myself that "Look like you believe in what you're saying, even if you don't!" Thanks to "Betty" with a dash of Susan Lucci's "Erica" thrown in for good measure, I made it through quantum mechanics. I should have sent her a thank-you note...but...

Lee spent a good portion of her career (my graduate school days) acting in movies with occasional guest spots on TV shows. Lee didn’t know this but she was an early role model for me, one I recalled as I was busy carving out my graduate studies in physical chemistry, stuck in the library or the lab most of the time doing research. Turns out I wasn’t the only one. On Father’s Day 2016, I was fortunate to attend Kiki Ebsen’s cabaret version of her theatre show “To Dad with Love,” where Lee Meriwether and her daughter Lesley Aletter were special guests.

Following the show I waited in a (long) line of people waiting to speak with Kiki and Lee, and said to Lee, “Thank you so much for being such a beautiful role model. I went to grad school in science because you made it look beautiful and fun!” She was so gracious, noting “Over the years, I’ve had so many women (and men) come up to me today and say that her year as Dr. Ann McGregor had made such an impact on them, that they, too, earned PhD degrees.” Some were working at NASA and others in chemical laboratories. It was predictable and yet adorable, how she was so modest and humble about inspiring the youth of the day to strive for advanced degrees.

Now, Lee had made it look delightful and even glamorous to be in a lab with a clipboard while wearing makeup. Reality was that my white lab coat had a “Mr. Bill” character over the back saying, “Oh Nooooo!” because I taught chemistry and empathized with my students about the work it was going to bring. I did strive to be like Lee but my lab coat had a few hard-earned ink stains and a few mementos of various reagents.

Life went on and one day in 1996 while playing back the “Beta” recording of “All My Children,” there Lee was again! A complete surprise, I was delighted to see her taking on the role of “Ruth Martin,” one that had been identified so closely with actress Mary Fickett, who inaugurated that role from the beginning of the show on January 5, 1970. That day matched the month and year I’d begun watching Agnes Nixon’s best daytime TV creation and I was one of the regulars who followed the show whenever time and videotape permitted.

Lee’s entrée to this show was opposite actor Ray MacDonnell as Dr. Joe Martin, and to switch out “Ruth Martin” was rather groundbreaking for the show. Frankly, Lee was the only actress who could immediately become known for and “as” a role that had been the mainstay identity of Mary Fickett for 26 years! For the next two years, she held audiences’ favor until Mary Fickett decided to unretire and returned to the show in 1998. Mary stayed two more years and then retired again and Lee returned once again in 2002. Even today, she’s beloved by the acting ensemble of “All My Children” as “one of Pine Valley’s originals.” Equal acceptance and adoration for both actresses highlights her abilities.

Lee’s popularity as actress and voice talent moved forward into the 21st century as she took on the role of “Miss Hastings” with James Garner in “The Ultimate Gift,” a film that’s shown regularly on the Hallmark Channel. She also starred in the sequels, “The Ultimate Life” and “The Ultimate Legacy.” She had an abundant tv career with guest appearances on episodic TV including five roles in 2018 alone.

Because she played in one episode of “Star Trek,” and multiple times in “Batman” and “The Time Tunnel,” Lee spent the past several years traveling as a special guest at Comic Con events, to the delight of everyone there. She patiently posed for photos, answered multiple questions multiple times, and is as gracious today as she was when first greeting the public as Miss America.

Her life and home and away from home, however, has been one of first loves, the team at Theatre West. In recent years during her involvement, her dearest friend, the late Linda L. Rand, was often her sidekick in all good things and joyous occasions. On Feb. 10, 2018, a sold-out audience enjoyed a star-studded tribute to her in “Love Letters to Lee Meriwether,” coinciding with the 55th anniversary of Theatre West. Both James Darren and Robert Colbert were there from “The Time Tunnel,” Betty Garrett’s sons, Garrett Parks and Andrew Parks, represented their mother and father (Larry Parks) in saluting her, as did Kiki Ebsen, representing her father, Buddy Ebsen, in paying tribute and sharing fond memories, as did so many others.

Lee’s involvement in Theatre West spans many decades as both board member and actress. Her stage involvement is of long-standing. Her one-woman rendition of the show “The Women of Spoon River” was highly acclaimed. In April 2000, she starred in Doug Haverty’s play, “Come Baby, Cradle and All,” the world premiere at Theatre West; at age 78 she starred in William Blinn’s play, “A Short Stay at Carranor,” and in the Los Angeles Times, she referenced the longevity and bright career of her former co-star, Buddy Ebsen: “He really worked at being at the top of his game. You had to keep up with him. I adored him. I think he had feelings for me too.”

In February, 2018, coincident with the event “Love Letters to Lee,” Theatre West members paid tribute to her talents, as seen in this beautiful YouTube salute:

This is just a sampling of the heartfelt thoughts and memories of theatre colleagues—playwrights, actors, producers and directors. In December 2015, Lee was invited by Cabarabia producer Clifford Bell to participate in his and Tiffany Bailey’s showcase, “Season’s Greetings from the Corner of Jazz and Cabaret.” Lee’s medley had a funny story that she shared, and unsurprisingly it involved Theatre West. Enjoy it here:

As she celebrates her 84th birthday today, Lee is fortunate to have two her loving daughters, Lesley Aletter and Kyle Aletter, as the best gifts in her life she can count among the likely multiple accolades via social media, phone calls, and good old-fashioned greeting cards she received today. Her birthday was listed first in newspapers across the country today, as just one small example of how faithfully she is remembered by those she will never know or meet in person.

Last summer, Lee was out on the town with her daughter Lesley and dear friend, the late Linda Rand, to hear Kiki Ebsen sing jazz at the San Gabriel Mission Playhouse. Sharing this picture because no matter where she is, you will always see Lee smiling, from the inside out.

L to R: Lesley Aletter, Linda L. Rand, Kiki Ebsen, and Lee Meriwether [Photo: Steve Wallace]

In this way she reminds us that projecting joy is a great way to feel that joy. Lee continues to be an advocate for live theatre, one “home base” that she loves so much. For just this one writer, I will always appreciate the example of beauty, grace, style, class, intelligence, strength of character, devotion to family, and the ability to take whatever life throws at you and never look dismayed or perturbed as “life happens.” She’s been a role model to so many for so long.

Today, she stands as an example of elegance as a gently aging star in our present-day galaxy. Hollywood needs to return to that day and time where people took time to prepare thoroughly for the roles we play in life. It was best in a day and time in life where we were kind and gracious to others, mentoring those behind us, while paying tribute to those who paved the way for us. Perhaps we can return to that kind of life once again. There’s always hope.

Love, light, laughter, and bouquets of pink roses to Lee. Happy birthday and many, many more.

Marking a Memorable Day and Remembering a Loved One

It was a beautiful sunny afternoon as I was leaving Callaway-Jones, headed into the back parking lot last Thursday, when I spotted something you don’t see every day here. A rooster and a hen were strutting down a nearby driveway, headed home after a visit to one of the neighbors’ lawns to search for who knows what. I just stared at them, amused, thinking that they didn’t think anything about what I was thinking. They were on a mission of their own and heading home afterwards. Country living in the middle of a city. I guess that’s what you call mixed-use development.

My eyes then moved right as I saw a delivery truck backed up and ready to offload. The truck’s logo bore the name of a well-known casket manufacturer of whom I’d been aware for close to 15 years now, today being 14 years to the day of my mother’s passing. The year before her death, my best friend and I had driven to two manufacturers’ sites in Texas, while I was studying the pricing, quality, and elements of exactly the kind of casket I wanted for Mom’s burial. As a good nerd, research is always comforting. Understand the unknown and it can’t flummox you later.

When you think about these topics early, it takes much of the emotion, grief, and trauma out of the equation. I wanted time to think about what I’d like, what I could afford, and what was available. As an only child, all decisions were up to me. Don’t feel sorry for me, because I had no one telling me I was “doing it wrong,” ha.

By the time my research and review of caskets was done, I knew the top manufacturers’ names, the model names of many caskets, the difference between various metal gauges, and other terms that don’t come up often in daily conversation. And I knew the pricing. When it came time to select Mom’s casket, I was well prepared and trusted Cody and his grandfather, Raymond, to make sure the casket of my choice would arrive on time. They did, precisely. It was exactly what I wanted for Mom, and it was beautiful. And then I forgot about all that, for 14 years in fact.

As some of you know, I now work for Callaway-Jones as their Certified Life Celebrant and Life Tribute Writer, so you think I’d be thinking a lot about caskets, but in fact I don’t. I think about life after death, about celebrating the life that meant so much to those they left behind, and on constructing services that provide healing and celebration of the best times of their lives. But Thursday afternoon was different.

As I stood there actually seeing the delivery truck back into position, time froze for a few minutes as I just watched something profound happen. I’ve known my friend and work colleague Catherine Ewing-Cates for over 20 years, and I know she’s been a Funeral Director for many years. But most recently I have thought of her as the manager of Restever Cemetery in Bryan, because that’s where I see her often.

But Thursday, Catherine was outside in the parking lot standing quietly until the driver had opened the bay of his truck and she moved forward with the carrier that the casket would be offloaded to. She greeted the driver respectfully and professionally, and there was no idle chatter. Both driver and funeral director offloaded the casket and transferred it onto the carrier with such respectfulness, that it reminded me exactly of the scene I’d seen many times on “NCIS,” when a military serviceperson is flown home to the United States and military personnel await the transfer of the casket. There’s a quiet reverence about that process. And yes, I've been known to shed a tear at the beauty of the ceremony because of what it means.

And Thursday, there was a similar stillness and solitude in that scene. In fact, neither Catherine nor the driver even noticed me watching them. They were doing their jobs so professionally, even when no one was (seemingly) watching. There was a beautiful cover over the casket, for protection during the drive, and yet another layer of secure covering after the cover was removed. Catherine handled that transfer with exactly the same level of respect as she would have, were there someone inside it. That just hit me as profound. It’s the parts of the world we work in that the public doesn’t see that are even more impressive than all the things you do see that cause you to have confidence in us.

Yes, it’s how we make you feel after losing a loved one that you remember most of all, but I really wanted to say that, even though I’ve seen many aspects of afterlife care that most of you have not, I’m really proud of the family team I work with, because I see what you can’t, and don’t, and it is truly as worthy of lifting up. Yet, there’s no standing ovation for honor and grace, although there really should be. At the end of the day, you can know you’ve done your job well, and served your families with total respect and appreciation because of all who see you doing that, but it’s who we are when no one is watching that I think is worth just as much merit.

I just took a few minutes again this afternoon to vote in The Eagle’s Reader’s Choice Awards 2019 contest. You can vote once a day through tomorrow. I’m proud that Callaway-Jones is in the Top 3 as best funeral home and that two of the Top 3 best funeral directors are ours, as well as one of the Top 3 receptionists in the competition. I may be biased because I work there, but I only work there because many years ago, I was their customer first. And my confidence in them has only become stronger with every day I interact with them.

I do so love “country living” in the middle of Bryan, Texas. I’ve got deer in my front yard looking for supper and a rooster and a hen strutting up and down driveways and parking lots out for a walk. It just doesn’t get any better than this. As we begin to prepare for Memorial Day weekend ahead next weekend, we remember and appreciate all the professionals whose work involves paying respects to those we’ve loved and lost. Their memories, and their love, remain with us forever.